It’s interesting that you bring up homosexuality. I fully support homosexual relationships, marriages, and parenting. It is a sad fact that there are so many unwanted or uncared-for children in need of parents, no matter there sexual preferences. In terms of biological reproduction, the growing numbers of homosexuals (at least of people who now feel comfortable coming out and adopting this lifestyle alone) give more credence to the fact that having children still is a necessity. If more people, homo- or heterosexual, are deciding to remain childless, there could come a point (arguably far in the future) when it will become a matter of survival.

I think big-picture, and I’m glad you saw that in this post. Thanks for your thoughtful responses.

I think it’s very similar with children. At this point, we are not really in danger of dying out as a species (unless we render the planet uninhabitable, or nuke ourselves to death, but you get my point). So people can choose whether or not to have children.

Of course, either of these conditions could change at any time: our first-world society is more fragile than we’d like to believe. We might someday find ourselves in a world where food is scarce and people die younger. But right now, we have the luxury to choose and customize our diets and lifestyles. I think both factions have some very persuasive arguments. I am still pretty young, and I can see myself going either way.

BTW, I’m curious as to how your opinion that having children is necessary extends to homosexual couples: would the obligation be to go the (considerably expensive and difficult) artificial route? Or should they shack up with a member of the opposite sex to fulfill their duty? (I’m just teasing; I enjoyed this thoughtful post.)

I suppose if my blog is irrelevant, though, then this whole back-and-forth doesn’t exist.

Thanks for your passionate responses. I hope you continue to read my blog.

Also: This wasn’t meant to be an attack on the childless? Really? Your frequent implication was that the childless are selfish hedonists with no concern for the future or the human race. If that’s not an attack, it’s at least a pretty severe condemnation.

You claim that the idea that parenthood is a choice is a social construct, as is child abuse. Slavery, civil rights for women and minorities, organized crime and yuppies are all social constructs, too. So what? Is that an argument for or against any of these things? Nope.

I find your judgment of those “not suited to being parents” to be rather short-sighted. The results of which you speak, including child abuse, are also a greater cultural problem and not necessarily the product of individuals’ lack of responsibility or ability. What does “poorly disciplined” even mean? Is there one right way to discipline a child? If a child throws a tantrum in the grocery store and it annoys you, does that mean he or she has unfit parents? Perhaps that is, in your words, “really none of your business.” You seem to be imposing your beliefs on the world in much the same way that you claim I am.

It seems that we are in different camps on many issues, and I think you missed my point.

Here’s a question: Why do you care whether other people have children? What difference could it possibly make to you? On the other hand, if people who are not suited to being parents have children, that can have all sorts of ramifications for you. You have to listen to their unhappy, poorly disciplined children screaming in public; you have to pay for a social services system that can “rescue” children from abuse and neglect; your children have to deal with unhappy, emotionally unstable children in school and other settings. Obviously, not every unwanted child results in these situations, but I have worked in child care and education and seen the misery that exists for parents and children (and those they come in contact with) when parents resent their children. Why would you wish that on anyone? Because you’ve decided that you have to do it, so, to be fair, everyone else should, too?

Also, it’s intellectually dishonest to claim that childless people always “fervently defend” their choice or shove it in your face. Certainly, some feel defensive (perhaps because of unsolicited opinions from people like you), and those are the ones you hear. But you don’t hear the people that aren’t making noise, even if they are the majority. Most childless people that I know (and yes, I have kids *and* friends without kids) consider it a personal decision and believe that their reasons are nobody’s business but their own. They don’t feel the need to elaborate on the often incredibly complex set of emotional, financial, and family-related factors that motivate them because they don’t think you want to hear it. . . and because it’s really none of your business.