20SomethingMom chronicles of a young mom

An Interesting Article for Father’s DayPosted by admin on June 20th, 2010

In honor of Father’s Day, I thought I’d share this interesting piece from the NYT with all of you: Now, Dad Feels as Stressed as Mom

Technorati Tags: Father's Day

10 Things a Single Mom Can’t DoPosted by admin on June 20th, 2010

When I took my son to work (a client’s house) with me last week, I felt both lucky and burdened. I hate having to make the decision between earning money and staying home, and if it weren’t for the nature of my job and the understanding parents that are more than willing to entertain my son while I tutor their kids, the decision would be made for me. I like being taken seriously as a professional and, unfortunately, having a two-year-old destroying the pages in my SAT book while I try to teach is not the greatest way to earn respect. As understanding as people can be, they still want — and deserve — their money’s worth. Although it’s not very often, every time I have to cancel a session because I can’t find a babysitter, I feel like my ability to balance work and motherhood has gone down the proverbial tubes.

Work is one thing…other parts of life are also disproportionately (unfairly?) limited by single parenthood. Here are some of the things I feel that I can’t do as a single mom:

1. Make last-minute plans. Friends my age don’t quite understand this one, but they will one day.
2. Take a purse everywhere. Two is not enough hands if I’m going to buy something: one hand is for the child, the other is for whatever I purchase. And in my case, I need all the strength I have in both arms to lift my son into a grocery cart.
3. Jump out of the car for a minute. When there isn’t a second person to wait in the car, everything is more annoying. I find this most frustrating for things like getting cash from the ATM or paying for gas inside the gas station. An average trip means 3 or 4 times of hooking and unhooking the car seat.
4. Financially justify pampering. If I want to get a pedicure or get my hair cut, I have to add the cost of a babysitter to the cost of the pampering. Needless to say, my conclusion is always the same: not worth it. Thus, my non-hairstyle. I’m just trying to avoid a mom haircut for as long as possible.
5. Take a quick trip to the store. I have this luxury on the days when my mom is not working, but most days require extensive planning for the the most insignificant of errands.
6. Comfortably go anywhere at night with child in tow. Mother + baby + dark parking lot = bad idea.
7. Skip a bath time/bed time routine. Even when I do have help around, my son wants me to do be the one sitting in the bathroom until his skin gets raisin-like and reading the same books or watching four hundred episodes of Pocoyo.
8. Yell and run away when there’s a bug in the house. I wish I had someone else to do the shoe-wielding for me, but the two-year-old has yet to perfect his aim.
9. Make dinner every night. Thankfully, I don’t really care about this one.
10. Ignore a cry for help because someone else might respond. I am the only boo-boo doctor and no matter what I am doing, I literally have to drop it and run when I hear that telltale scream.

Now that my son is spending time with his father fairly often, I get quite a few days sans limitations. I’m looking forward to living Life, Balanced.

Technorati Tags: divorce, parenting, Pocoyo, single mom, two-year-old, work-life balance, working mom